Holiday Stress
Lisa Reynolds, LCSW
The Holidays evoke emotion for many of us ranging from joy to dread. We have read numerous tips on how to avoid overstressing ourselves only to follow the same pattern of stressed out behavior. So, what to do? Making decisions that are healthy for us is an active way to avoid Holiday stress.
Don’t put yourself in a position where you are the only one responsible for organizing, cooking, shopping, mailing, etc. Delegate tasks and ask for help. Women are notorious caregivers that look for self worth in nurturing others. If you don’t ask for help, it is unlikely it will be offered. People will take advantage of your can do attitude. If you are the type of person who says no to offers of help, practice saying “thank-you very much, I would love it if you would….”. Most people like being able to contribute something to the meal so let them know what you need them to bring.
Don’t do something just because you feel obligated. You will never please everyone, so don’t try. If visiting family makes you cringe, then institute a new Holiday tradition with your immediate family and enjoy. It is not your responsibility to meet everyone else’s emotional needs.
Don’t overspend. It truly is the thought not the amount that counts. Stick to your budget and refuse to go over it. Talk with children about your family’s financial reality to head off disappointment. It is OK not to fulfill all of their wishes and dreams.
Don’t expect perfection of yourself or anyone else. Remember that perfection does not equate to special.
Do take care of yourself. Diet, exercise and sleep are the cornerstones of self-care. Make sure you are eating healthy and not overindulging in calories, caffeine or alcohol. Exercise regularly. Make sure you are getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep because sleep deprivation contributes greatly to our mood.
Do have realistic expectations of people and events. Try not to have emotional expectations surrounding how happy/sad/lonely you will be during the Holidays.
Do allow yourself to have days where you relax and have no obligations to be anywhere. Schedule these days in so that you have time to replenish your energy.
Do enjoy what is happening right now. Stay in the present, not worried about the past or future. Refuse to miss another moment of your life.
The New Year brings a time of reflection for most of us, at a time when we are tapped out. Be gentle in your reflection of your past year. Focus on the good things that happened. Make realistic, attainable goals for the next year. Put into practice the advice that you have read. And above all, have Happy Holidays!
